I’ve always loved exploring. I’ve explored our blessed Mother Earth to quite an extent, and humankind, a great deal. I have learnt so much from my explorations of my own soul’s journey, taking into account both my shadow side and my light. Oh my… there’s so much to learn.

Having never made a plan in my life, I been fortunate to have lived many lives in one. The diversity of the magnificent and magical people I’ve met and the unusual yet captivating places I’ve been, truly opened my mind considerably. The divergence of learning differences and recognising similarities in all realms of existence, along with my happy go lucky nature, has taken me sometimes way off the beaten track. From time to time there was no road. Now and then there was not even a path. But my unquenchable thirst for understanding the human condition kept me steadfast in all of my adventures. 

Last year I was not in a good place. I found myself in tremendous pain. I have never seen the world in the same way as others. I have never allowed myself to be put into a box but let’s just say this, I was not in a good place. 

After a good bash at sobriety, I was numbing my pain again. I realised there were still many issues that hadn’t been addressed. For me, they were the toughest ones of all. I had to make peace at home and I had to choose who I really wanted to have in my life going forward. I made a conscious choice to let certain people go. I didn’t have the courage to explain myself at the time as there were so many financial implications and personal complications. Some treasured close friends confided in me. Some truths came out whilst I was in the darkest bouts of depression. I was shackled by loyalty, so I didn’t confront the issues head-on. I may have been a junkie but I’ve never been a grass. I couldn’t and I wouldn’t tell a soul about the enormity of my pain. I was heartbroken. I couldn’t deal with it. I had to work things out my own way.

I used the fragility of my delusional bravado whilst under the influence to raise awareness of heinous crimes against humanity. Let’s say this ruffled lots of feathers. For this, I have no regrets. I stand firm in my beliefs. Even in my darkest moments, I know who I am. 

I took some time in solitude. Discarded all recreational habits. Even my cigarettes, which was the last of my many, many bad habits. I had to regain a clear vision of who and what was sacred, and what sacred meant to me. I spent time in the Himalayas as a purified and ordained Buddhist nun after the passing of my mum over a decade ago. By Gods merciful grace, I was guided back to my monastic lifestyle. 

Now I’m so relieved to say I’m through the other side. I now understand I needed to be exactly where I was for me to find freedom. Peace at last. 

I’ll be sharing my journey in my diaries. I’m starting another adventure alone. I have always traveled alone. It gives me the freedom to follow my divine guidance and intuition. To meet and do whatever I want to do at all times. Whoopie! 

I’ll be revealing my thoughts and findings each week. Next week I’m on a pilgrimage walk… I started it a long time ago but didn’t finish it. I will this time. 

If you like what you’ve read so far and want to accompany me on my journey, please do. I’m humbly asking for donations to aid my journey. I mentioned before I live a monastic life now. I happily and joyfully live on rice and beans with the odd bit of veg and dark chocolate as a treat. Travel and stuff costs money although I am more than happy walking everywhere and wherever I lay my hat is my home. I would like to venture further afield in the near future. Please donate if you can. I’ll be writing anyway. I’ve never been so happy in my life. I promise to write only my absolute truth. 

PS I never went to school and I find it hard to read books so forgive my mistakes. I write as I speak. I am a Londoner. 

Sending love and light always. 

Sarah x